DOG'S EYE VIEW

ARCHIVE:

27th October - 8th November:

features the following subjects: My humans, Choosing humans, The noble art of carpet scratching, Devastatingly dull food, Fenix the cockatiel, Martha the Bedlington, Martha on my mind, The Dandington puppies, The war against Vacuum Cleaner, The mythical "work" excuse, The eye-opener.

10th - 21st November:

features the following subjects: Human guests, The human dinner, Hostile hospital house, The wild hedgehog chase, Lucrative laundry, Early morning festivity, The potato thieves, King of all seasons, In search of the roe deers, Stefan the lawyer.

24th November - 9th December:

features the following subjects: Mouldy myths and mirthful movies, In the fairylands, Where the wild boars grub, Return to Willows, Tomorrow never fades away, In the eye of the storm.

Sunday 21st December 1997 - Forever and three days

During a short nap after lunch I'm waken up by several wonderful scents reaching my nose. Within a few seconds I'm wide awake. These scents are like magnets, leading me to the kitchen. The kitchen door is almost shut, but I manage to sneak inside. Here in the kitchen the scents are much stronger.

Matte is preparing ribs of pork and forcemeat balls in quantities that would fill my every need for the rest of the year. I feel like a puppy in a butcher's shop. I lick my lips in anticipation of what delicious dinner I could have today.
"I want two bowls of ribs of pork and two bowls of forcemeat balls, please" I tell Matte.
Matte, who is standing by the oven, turns around and says "Be quiet. Matte is busy working right now".
I repeat my polite request. It seems that Matte understands what I'm saying as she replies "Sorry Rasmus, but this food is for Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve - in three days time". Three DAYS??? It might as well be three milleniums, as far as I'm concerned. Sulk.
"But Matte, what if the moon falls down and hits our house tomorrow? Then all this delicious food will go to waste. Can't I at least have one bowl of each thing in the meantime?" I ask.
Matte, however, is implacable. "Stop barking! This is for Christmas Eve... but it's only three days to go".

During the next hour, I sit by Matte's feet, trying every trick in the Dandie charm book. In spite of this, Matte refuses to even give me a single bowl of forcemeat balls. Double sulk. Triple sigh. This is torture, but I can't leave the kitchen with such delicious scents filling the room.

I didn't get ribs of pork or forcemeat balls for dinner, but at least Matte poured pork gravy meat on my dog food. This at least gives me an indication that the food on Christmas Eve will be worth the wait. Still, three loooong days... seems like an eternity to me.

In the evening, my humans have coffee and eat cookies. Unusually, they have this upstairs (rather than in the living-room) at the table next to Fenix's cage. On the table there's a candleholder with four lit candles in it - even though the light in the ceiling is switched on.
I make sure I get the cookies I'm entitled to and that Fenix doesn't get too much. Matte gives him a piece of rusk. How unfair! I tell Matte this and she gives me a piece of rusk too. A few minutes later, Husse gives Fenix some birdseed. Out of principle, I insist on getting some birdseed too. Fenix should not be favoured!! The birdseed has no particular taste, but at least I made it clear that I won't accept any favouritism.

What an unsuccessful day! I didn't get any ribs of pork or forcemeat balls, but had to stoop to eating birdseed...

Monday 22nd December - Wrapped up in mystery

I had a nasty nightmare last night. I dreamed that Matte was preparing my breakfast, filling my bowl with porks of rib and lots of forcemeat balls. When she put it down on the floor in my dining-room, the meat disappeared and suddenly the bowl was full of birdseed. I turned around and saw Matte, now with horns on her head, saying sardonically "Three days until Christmas Eve, Rasmus! Three days! HA HA HA!!!"

I felt uncomfortable when I woke up. What an unpleasant dream! It was a great relief when a hornless Matte served me dog food with gravy meat on it and said, kindly, "Just two days until Christmas Eve, Rasmus". I ate my breakfast eagerly, just in case the dream was some kind of premonition (one can't take any risks when it comes to food).

After my forenoon walk, I stroll into Stefan's room. He looks up and smiles when he sees it's me. "Oh, it's you. I'm wrapping up Christmas gifts. This one is for Husse. But don't tell him - it is going to be a surprise on Christmas Eve".
There's that word "Christmas Eve" again. Why does everything these days have to wait until that mysterious day? If Stefan wants to give Husse something, why not do it right away? Human behaviour is so erratic sometimes.
"I can reveal that you will get some very nice Christmas gifts too. It will be fun, I promise!" Stefan continues. I get excited and wag my tail enthusiastically.
"Can I have them now, Stefan?" I ask. He looks at me and smiles again. "You will get them on Christmas Eve. Just two days to go!"

If Matte and Stefan are right, Christmas Eve should really be something special - ribs of pork, forcemeat balls, Christmas gifts... everything a dog needs.

Tuesday 23rd December - Eccentrically spruced up

I feel so embarrassed. My humans have done something truly eccentric. It's so eccentric that I fear I'll become a laughing stock among the dogs in the neighbourhood.

For reasons best known to themselves, my humans have brought in a spruce and put it in the living-room. A spruce?? Why not bring in birches, juniper shrubs and beech trees as well? As if this wasn't eccentric enough, Matte, Husse and Stefan then eagerly started to decorate it and, to top it all off, put illumination in it. An illuminated and decorated spruce? What will they come up with next? I can just imagine what my dog mates will say to each other: "Have you heard about Rasmus's humans? They have a decorated spruce in their living-room!"

I am not thrilled to have to take walks today. There is a very real risk we'll meet one or two of my mates. They will immediately sense the scent of the living-room spruce. Scents can't be hidden. Tomorrow my humans will be the talk of the dog community here.

It doesn't take long before we bump into two friends of mine - Fleetwood, a young Golden Retriever chap, and Nilla, a mild-mannered Berner Sennen lady. Something great happens. When I get close to them I discover that their humans also have that special indoors spruce scent. What a relief! It's not just my humans who are eccentric! Actually, given how much they have been going on about this mysterious "Christmas Eve" the past few days, it wouldn't at all surprise me if there was a connection between the spruce and "Christmas Eve".

When we get back home, the eccentrities are continuing. Husse is putting up garlands of different colours in the ceiling and, worse by far, Matte have brought out that stupid robot, Vacuum Cleaner, for exercise. Matte and Vacuum Cleaner keep exercising forever and ever (or so it seems). Whenever I hear Vacuum Cleaner's whining monotone and see his clumsy movements, I feel so grateful that my parents were dogs and not vacuum cleaners. I wouldn't want to be a vacuum cleaner for all the entrecote in the world.

Later in the evening, Matte takes me to the beauty salon (also known as the bathroom). "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, Rasmus! You've got to look even more splendid than usual! If you have been a good dog this year, Santa Claus will pay us a visit!". I quite like getting beauty treatment - I'm sure no female dog can resist me now.

Decorated spruce, delicious food, Christmas gifts, beauty treatment, talk about some guest called "Santa Claus"... it will be interesting to finally find out what this "Christmas Eve" is all about. Can't wait until tomorrow!

Wednesday 24th December - Christmas Eve

The mysterious day my humans have talked so much about has finally come. This is the day when all the delicious food will become available, I will get "Christmas gifts" and someone called "Santa Claus" is expected to visit us in the evening. I stroll into the living-room where my humans are having "Christmas coffee". This is very nice, especially as I'm given some munchy cookies. I have to admit that the decorated and illuminated spruce looks kind of neat.

A couple of hours later, my fourth human Peter arrives. It's always great seeing him. Having him here also makes my job of guarding and protecting him so much easier. Peter is offered some of the Christmas candy available in the living-room. He accepts this eagerly and makes complimentary remarks about the decorated spruce (he is obviously just as eccentric as my other humans in this area).

In the early afternoon, the table in the kitchen is filled with extremely delicious food in great quantities. Ribs of pork, chipolata sausage, forcemeat balls, ham, salmon, cheese, herring, liver paste, home-made loaf... these wonderful scents reach my nose and I lick my lips. Matte gives me a bowl featuring some of this, but sadly it also features dog food. Meanwhile, my humans lay their hands on much bigger shares than I got. While they are gobbling up their food in the dining-room, I sit beneath the kitchen table, sniffing wistfully. I know we Dandie Dinmont Terriers are the number one dog breed, but one can't eat glory and honour. It's on occasions like these I really wish my parents had been Irish Wolfhounds instead. Sulk. Sigh. I lick my lips again. Husse comes out into the kitchen and I make sure I look really pitiable and sad. It works - he gives me some more of this delicious food (but still not in any great quantities).

At 3 p.m. my humans gather in the living-room sofas in front of the TV to watch a programme called "The Donald Duck Christmas Show" (or something like that). Stefan tells me this is an old tradition - this TV programme has been broadcast every Christmas Eve at 3 p.m. since 1960. 1960?? What kind of pre-historic year is that?? My mother's grandfather was born in 1975. I spend a few seconds pondering what the world must have been like in the dim and very distant past of 1960. Were the dogs of that time in black and white or were they in colour? Had hedgehogs and entrecote even been invented in those days?
The TV programme is quite amusing. I like animated cartoons and particularly the one about two dogs called Lady and The Tramp visiting an Italian restaurant is nice. Very touching. It makes me think of Martha the Bedlington and of my puphood sweetie, Cami the Norwich Terrier.

A bit later in the afternoon I stroll around the house. I feel like being patted and praised by Stefan. I walk into his room. It's empty. I continue to the living-room and see Husse, Matte and Peter, but no Stefan. The other three seem very relaxed, but their scents also reveal a bit of excited anticipation. I check out the dining-room, the kitchen, my dining-room and the lounge. No sign of Stefan anywhere. I sniff the air carefully, to see if perhaps he's upstairs. No, he isn't. Stefan is not in the house. Where has he gone? While waiting for him to return, I return to the living-room and get patted by Peter.

Suddenly there is a bang on the front door. "It must be Santa Claus!" my humans tell each other. Their scents reveal that their excited anticipation has increased. They scent like puppies about to hunt badgers for the first time. Husse and I open the front door. "HO HO HO! ARE THERE ANY GOOD CHILDREN HERE?" a deep voice says.

This is really hilarious and I crack up tailwagging. In front of us is Stefan, heavily disguised. He has a red woollen cap, white chalk on his eyebrows, some make-up junk on his nose (to make his nose look bigger), a white false beard, an old grey coat (which, judging by its scent, has been hanging in our storeroom all year), thick white gloves, some old grey trousers and black boots. Also, he has put a worn-out pillow inside his shirt in order to look fatter. In his hands, he is holding a big sack full of parcels. In this disguise, Stefan looks like some hermit from a cold, isolated and desolate place. Truly funny. His own unique scents reveal that it is Stefan, but Husse, Matte and Peter don't seem to realise this. They actually believe this is "Santa Claus".

Stefan sits down on the stool by the piano, takes a parcel out of his sack and says, with that fake deep voice, "Merry Christmas Peter from mum and dad". Peter accepts this parcel, shake hands with Stefan and sits down again. Stefan continues to hand out parcels to Matte and Husse and Peter. "Merry Christmas Stefan from mum and dad" he says. "Oh, dear Santa, Stefan is not at home. He is out buying an evening paper", Matte says. "But Stefan is right there on the piano stool!" I tell Matte. No reaction.
"Merry Christmas Rasmus from Matte and Husse" Stefan says suddenly. I'm given a parcel with a sausage scent. I take it in my mouth and go to my carpet. To get to the sausage, I use my special "If violence doesn't work, try using more violence" method. Yes, it features a piece of chipolata sausage. When I'm finished I walk up to Stefan and request another parcel, which I'm dutifully given. This one features a cucumber.
A few minutes later, I have been given more yummy parcels. Stefan is apparently finished with the process of handing out parcels. He gets up and says, "Now I shall go to the next house! Ho Ho Ho! Be good children next year too. Until then - Merry Christmas!". He walks out the front door and disappears again.
Matte, Husse and Peter start to eagerly open their parcels. Pretty soon there's wrapping-up paper everywhere. I carefully sniff at these, hoping to find more chipolata sausage and forcemeat balls. Sadly, it seems my humans only got non-food things.

A few minutes later, Stefan returns, without disguise this time (he still has some white chalk on his eyebrows, though). "You've missed something, Stefan! While you were out, Santa Claus was here" Matte says. Stefan doesn't seem too upset (and why should he? He and I know something the other humans don't. Our own little secret) and he starts opening his parcels, like the others.

"Christmas Eve" lived up to its hype. I got a fair deal of delicious food and, best of all, all my humans were here with me all day. I wish it could be Christmas Eve every day.

Thursday 25th December - Christmas wheels

Today was another wonderful day. Matte, Husse and Stefan were at home with me all day and seemed very relaxed and happy. The mood in the house was one of sereneness and bliss. Much to my delight, I discovered that there's still lots of yummy food available. My breakfast was a mix of yummy Christmas food and the usual boring dog food.

A couple of hours after breakfast, Stefan and I took a nice extensive walk. This time we tried out some new paths in the forest. We followed an Eastern path and found a path seldom used by humans. This was a part of the forest I hadn't been to before. It was wonderful discovering so many new scents and also we saw a very fascinating animal - a squirrel. The squirrel spotted us and it seemed it was aware of my many hunting triumphs. Swift as lightning it went up a pine tree, moving like an acrobat before leaping to the next pine tree. There was a small hole a few metres up in this tree. The squirrel disappeared into the hole but reappeared a few seconds later, chewing on a cone. It seemed curious about Stefan and me but preferred to watch us from a safe distance. I felt proud about being so respected by other animals. We watched the squirrel for a few moments and then continued up the hill southwards. We walked across a flat rock, heading towards the place where the old wooden outlook tower used to be. These days, only a few mouldered poles remain. You can tell from the scents here that humans only rarely pass by here. There was a fading roe deer scent here, but as it was a couple of days old I didn't bother following it. A few bullfinches and house sparrows chirped in the trees.

After an hour or so, Stefan and I returned home. The delicious food is still available and Stefan says we are going to explore more new forest paths tomorrow. Can't wait!

Copyright ©1997 Stefan Warnqvist